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WARNING: The following contains obnoxious opinions, language and potential spoilers!
And the Oscar goes to…..none of them! I’m done, I’m doing my own! Yes, I watched the Oscars, even though I said I wouldn’t. Despite the politics and the movies you’ve never heard of being nominated, there’s still a pull to the broadcast, although it is starting to fizzle out. I’m not just talking about me. The ratings are down AGAIN. They go down every year. And it’s obvious why. -Movies we like get nominated for a bunch of stuff, and inevitably lose every category due to the internal politics of the Academy (Baby Driver). -Other movies, which deserve to win the big awards, get Screenplay so they can be pushed aside (Get Out). -Movies with a certain director’s name attached to them win all the technical awards despite the technical work in this current film being lackluster compared to the other nominees (Dunkirk). -Movie sequels based on classic films that held a lot of ground 35 years ago win awards just for existing despite the new film not performing well at the box office and not being that good overall (Blade Runner 2049) -The host did a really good job once, so they were brought back, but they used all their A-list material the first time so this time was kinda weak. The whole “Matt Damon, we ran outta time” thing has no place at the Oscars man. -Politics...I’m not gonna weigh in on anything, I’m not gonna take any sides and I’m not gonna call anyone out. I’m just gonna say the politics don’t need to be there and they are responsible for making the current-era Oscars feel less soulful and no fun. -Best Picture is made up of a bunch of last minute end-of-the-year movies that virtually none of us have seen or even wanna see. We just end up rooting for the 1 movie on the list that we have seen just to watch it lose. Thats no fun. But it wasn’t all bad. I was convinced Daniel Day Lewis was gonna be showered with affections and a shoe-in for Best Actor because he’s “one of the greatest actors of all time” (I disagree), but they didn’t! Gary Oldman finally got the Oscar he has deserved for the last 20 years! Kobe won an oscar for his excellent short film Dear Basketball, Coco took not only Best Animated Feature but Best Original Song, as was deserved. Rita Moreno presented an Oscar and she is absolutely phenomenal no matter what she’s doing. My favorite thing in the world was that a jetski was awarded to the Oscar winner with the shortest acceptance speech. To their credit, that was a hilarious idea and they followed through with it at the end of the show. Finally, despite only winning Screenplay, I was really happy to see Peele have his moment to reflect on the amazing film that is Get Out. It deserved so much more, but I’m glad it wasn’t completely skunked. Which brings me back to the main issue. The Academy can keep the Oscars. They are bloated, biased braggarts awarded to films that belch boredom. So I’m going to do my own. Obviously I am not a professor of cinema, but I am a professor of pop culture...nerd, I am a nerd, and have a decent understanding of what people like, even if I do not always agree. That being said, I’d like to present the nominees for The Zacks, a series of awards based around movies people ACTUALLY WATCH, with some new awards that should be a part of the Oscars but aren’t. The winners will be announced on the next episode of Post Credit Podcast and then added on here! Best Picture Star Wars Episode 8: The Last Jedi Get Out Baby Driver Dunkirk Logan Best Action Film John Wick 2 Baby Driver The Foreigner Fate of the Furious Dunkirk Best Sci-fi Film Blade Runner 2049 Star Wars Episode 8: The Last Jedi Life Valerian and the City of 1000 Planets Thor: Ragnarok Best Comic Book Film Thor: Ragnarok Wonder Woman Logan Guardians of the Galaxy 2 Spider-man: Homecoming Best Animated Film The Lego Batman Movie Coco Cars 3 Despicable Me 3 Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters Best Motion Capture Performance Andy Serkis - Caesar - War for the Planet of the Apes Taika Waititi - Korg - Thor: Ragnarok James Gunn - Baby Groot - Guardians of the Galaxy 2 Sean Gunn - Rocket Raccoon - Guardians of the Galaxy 2 Dan Stevens - Beast - Beauty and the Beast Best Original Score Hans Zimmer - Dunkirk John Williams - Star Wars Episode 8: The Last Jedi Alexandre Desplat - The Shape of Water Michael Giacchino - Coco Rupert Gregson-Williams - Wonder Woman Best Actor: Mark Hamill - Luke Skywalker - Star Wars Episode 8: The Last Jedi Michael Rooker - Yondu - Guardians of the Galaxy 2 Jon Hamm - Buddy - Baby Driver Hugh Jackman - Logan - Logan Bill Skarsgard - Pennywise - It James Franco - Tommy - The Disaster Artist Best Actress: Gal Gadot - Diana - Wonder Woman Katherine Waterson - Daniels - Alien Covenant Robin Wright - Antiope - Wonder Woman Sally Hawkins - Eliza - The Shape of Water Cate Blanchett - Hela - Thor: Ragnarok Dafne Keen - X-23 - Logan Best Voice-Acting Performance: Will Arnett - Batman - The Lego Batman Movie Jackie Chan - Master Wu - Lego NinjaGo Movie Bradley Cooper - Rocket Raccoon - Guardians of the Galaxy 2 Ralph Fiennes - Alfred - The Lego Batman Movie Gael Garcia Bernal - Hector - Coco Benjamin Bratt - Ernesto de la Cruz - Coco Best Sound Editing: Baby Driver Dunkirk Star Wars Episode 8: The Last Jedi Blade Runner 2049 Best Sound Mixing: Baby Driver Dunkirk Star Wars Episode 8: The Last Jedi Thor: Ragnarok Best Screenplay: War for the Planet of the Apes Get Out Coco Logan Blade Runner 2049 Biggest Surprise of 2017 Jumanji - A sequel that nobody wanted that turned out to be excellent Cloverfield Paradox - A movie that dropped 2 hours after the trailer on Netflix Baby Driver - Edgar Wright comes out of nowhere with an epically edited action movie Thor: Ragnarok - Marvel took the struggling franchise and turned it on its head Most Anticipated of 2018: Black Panther Ready Player One Avengers: Infinity War Mission Impossible: Fallout Incredibles 2 Christopher Robin Sean L. Holmes Please Don’t Suck Award 2018 Pacific Rim 2 Venom Solo: A Star Wars Story Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom Rampage Zachary R. Patterson Absolute Worst Award Current Holder: Independence Day: Resurgence (2nd year in a row) Power Rangers - *(Worst of the Year)* Justice League The Emoji Movie Alien: Covenant The Mummy Transformers: The Last Knight |
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