Avengers: Infinity War Review (Zack Patterson)

WARNING: The following review contains obnoxious opinions and strong language

“I shouldn’t be alive, unless it was for a reason.” That’s what Tony Stark said in the dazzling and surprisingly good film Iron Man, which came out 10 years ago. Robert Downey Jr. perfectly personified the character and Jon Favreau’s stylish directing made for quite the spectacle, but the real surprise came after the credits. Nick Fury stepped from the shadows of Tony’s house and said “I’m here to talk to you about the Avenger Initiative.”

22 year old me went absolutely berserk and nearly fell out of my seat. My mind raced with names of characters that could be coming to the screen. I began to wonder if such an endeavor was even possible in the world of film. 10 years, 19 movies and multiple studios later, here we are. There have been some hiccups, perhaps some movies that not everybody liked (I loathe and despise Iron Man 3), but it has been a rewarding and amazing journey. All journeys must lead somewhere, so we find ourselves at Infinity War. One of the most ambitious films ever undertaken. I had doubts when the First Avengers came out and that was just 6 heroes. I had doubts here as well, but the hype and my long life of comic book reading had me losing sleep the night before the movie.

SERIOUSLY, SPOILERS AHEAD PEOPLE
PROS:

- Every action sequence in this film is perfection. Absolute perfection. The quips, the team-ups, Rocket Racoon meeting Winter Soldier...Never has a comic book world come to life like this did. Marvel truly achieved the impossible with this.

- “You can’t be a Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man if there’s no neighborhood.”...Nearly teared up when Spidey said that. Tom Holland gets better and better with every movie he’s in. He is the perfect Spider-man. He is the best Spider-man to ever be on screen. Fight me.

- RED SKULL LIVES!!!!! SURPRISE MOVIE MOMENT OF THE YEAR! His demise in Captain America has been a subject of debate since the film came out, and the Russo brothers finally dropped a golden egg on the fanbase. The big problem was that they had big plans for Red Skull, but the Hugo Weaving decided he didn’t like money and stepped away from the role, which Marvel was then afraid to recast. This was the right way to give the fans something back and I do truly hope that they find a way to bring one of Marvel’s biggest baddies back into film circulation.

- Damnit, Thanos is amazing. Josh Brolin does an amazing job in his portrayal of the character. A character I was convinced would be hollow and poorly set up turned out to be one of the best in any Marvel film. Disney proving me wrong every time man…

- Dear Marvel: Keep Thor in outer space with characters like Rocket and Groot. Have him join the Guardians or something. THIS is where Thor truly excels! His franchise has been a rocky one, according to fans, but not one person has a bad word to say about him in this film. The answer is getting Thor out of the Thor framework. No more Asgard. Lasers and stuff.

- LAST CHANCE TO AVOID BIG SPOILERS!!! - Ok so, this is more of a personal Pro than a cinematic Pro BUT………..Teehee! All the characters I didn’t like are dead now! Overused Loki is gone, underwhelming Gamora is gone and most importantly TOTALLY USELESS GONNA-SIT-IN-A-CORNER-AND-STARE-AT-EVERYONE VISION IS GONE! Vision was actually kind enough to die twice for me. My friends were not happy with my positive reactions to these situations.

CONS:

- Sequel Insurance - So many upcoming films have been announced that many of these character deaths have ABSOLUTELY ZERO emotional tilt to them. Marvel attempts to prove that they aren’t afraid to take characters out of the game, but it’s a hollow statement when you dust a character like Spiderman, when the Homecoming sequel is scheduled to debut in Summer 2019.

- They really didn’t have a clue how to use Groot in this. I get that it was a packed movie, but c’mon. He literally plays his stupid handheld game the ENTIRE movie and only gets involved when the script finally sets up a thing that only he can do. I just feel like there was so much more they could’ve done with teenage Groot.

- That after credits sequence was LAME……...they could’ve shown just about anything and gotten the win, but they somehow found the one scene that would not work with this film and put that in instead. I was in a full theater and like 3 people knew the symbol on the pager was a Captain Marvel reference. There was no cheering, no applause, just the sound of dozens of people saying "Huh?". Disney should know that virtually nobody knows who Captain Marvel even is and stepped up appropriately, maybe even showed her in person after the credits and generate some REAL hype for that film. Its a small thing to complain about, but I feel like that was the weakest way possible to follow up one of the greatest Marvel movies of all time.


FINAL TALLY:

Its way shorter than my usual stuff, but truly there’s not much I can say that stands out from other reviews. This film is a roller coaster, but one of those roller coaster that relentlessly throws you into the turns. This movie never stops. 2 and a half hours and it went by in a blink. It is absolutely incredible. A once-in-a-generation cinematic event.

5 out of 5, one of the greatest experiences I’ve ever had with a movie

R.I.P DC...sorry, they’ll never come close to this...